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Lady Lee
JoinedPosts by Lady Lee
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36
Sparlockgate - the YouTube copyright clampdown continues!
by cedars inyou may remember some time ago i released a song entitled "sparlock we love you" on youtube.. the song was a parody of the "become jehovah's friend" dvd, and became very popular - with well over 10,000 views last time i checked.. i did consider the possibility that the society would complain on grounds of copyright infringement, because i used some specially-altered versions of images on the dvd, such as the one below.... .
however, i shrugged this off, because i thought even the society wouldn't be as petty as to publically complain about the way the images were used.. nevertheless, they did.
today i got the following email.... dear john cedars,we have disabled the following material as a result of a third-party notification from watch tower bible and tract society of pennsylvanias, claiming that this material is infringing:.
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ICSA Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice
by Lady Lee inthis was one of the last presentations i took in.
very powerful stuff.. icsa 2012 conference listening to the still small voice: reclaiming the self after leaving religious totalistic groups.
most people go through a stage in late adolescence or early adulthood where they ask this question of themselves.
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Lady Lee
One thing I really hated was pretending that I wasn't as smart as the men I knew. Some of them were so dumb and you couldn't say anything when they were wrong because then you wouldn't be in submission. Thank goodness that most of the real world isn't like that.
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ICSA Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice
by Lady Lee inthis was one of the last presentations i took in.
very powerful stuff.. icsa 2012 conference listening to the still small voice: reclaiming the self after leaving religious totalistic groups.
most people go through a stage in late adolescence or early adulthood where they ask this question of themselves.
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Lady Lee
Leslie there was so much that we were deprived of when it came to our personal likes and talents. Nothing was encouraged that would bring "undue attention" to someone. I sure burst that little bubble for myself as a JW. Nothing like standing out from the crowd when you are standing in front of one interpreting into sign language.
I struggle as a JW to find myself. And the harder I tried the more depressed I got because individuality was so discouraged. No wonder so many JWs are depressed
Glad to hear you are now free to discover and keep learning about the real you.
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51
How do deaf people think?
by Iamallcool insome of you know that i am deaf.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/07/how-deaf-people-think/.
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Lady Lee
Scott after everything we were taught about non-JWs I remember how surprising it was to find out that the world is filled with a lot of really nice people. I have discovered over and over the power of the "kindness of strangers"
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ICSA Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice
by Lady Lee inthis was one of the last presentations i took in.
very powerful stuff.. icsa 2012 conference listening to the still small voice: reclaiming the self after leaving religious totalistic groups.
most people go through a stage in late adolescence or early adulthood where they ask this question of themselves.
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Lady Lee
You don't have to convince me that they create a false self. A few years after I left I saw an elder's wife in the shopping mall. I had heard that he had passed away. I was DFed so I knew she would not talk to me. Initially I passed the store she was in and them I changed my mind and went into it. We stood across a low counter of things for sale. I looked at her and quietly said I was sorry about her husband. And then I watched as this mature woman take on the stance and appearance of a small child who was afraid of being caught doing something wrong and she whispered thanks. I left. I figured she was in enough agony without me standing there in front of her.
In my work with adult survivors of incest I had a few clients with DID. I was very familiar with it and having people switch in my office. But watching her switch in front of me was no different than watching the switch between the parts of any person who suffers from DID.
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51
How do deaf people think?
by Iamallcool insome of you know that i am deaf.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/07/how-deaf-people-think/.
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Lady Lee
The JWs who were deaf were a pretty large group at the hall I was at. Sometimes close to 20 in the group. They had the luxury of not only the English deaf group but also the smaller French group.
Plus Montreal has a school for children who are deaf.
I taught sign language there for a while to hearing parents and other interested people. And I did a 1 year internship there for my college diploma.
And they had a reverse integration program where children who had no disability attended MacKay with children who were disabled. The school is split oin 2 with children with physical disabilities on one side and those with heariung impairments on the other side but many of the kids had boith physical and auditory problems so there was a lot of back and forth between the two sides. My daughter was placed in a class with children with physical disabilites but she was very comfprtable talking with her friends at the school who were in our congregation. We say that sign language was her first language. It certainly was her first expressive language (she could sign before she could talk)
So we had a strong connection to the school and because I worked there I often learned new signs and brought them back to the hall with me. Most people were happy with the new signs. Saved them from spelling them out if there was no sign for it. But 1 of the elders who was deaf (we had 2 of them) really didn't like ME bringing in new signs. One day he called me ion a sign and wanted to know where I got that from. So I told him I got it fromt he school. He turned to his 10 yr old son and asked him. When his 10 yr old told him they used it at the school then it was OK for me to use it. Funny that even though he didn't like me he made sure I was given most of the important talks to interpret. I really didn't like this man. He was the lord-it-over-everybody kind of elder. No one really liked him. I really don't know how he got to be an elder - desperation perhaps. The other elder who was deaf - I learned to sign from him and his wife - great people and I still miss them.
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ICSA Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice
by Lady Lee inthis was one of the last presentations i took in.
very powerful stuff.. icsa 2012 conference listening to the still small voice: reclaiming the self after leaving religious totalistic groups.
most people go through a stage in late adolescence or early adulthood where they ask this question of themselves.
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Lady Lee
This was one of the last presentations I took in. Very powerful stuff.
ICSA 2012 Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice: Reclaiming the Self after Leaving Religious Totalistic Groups
Who Am I? Most people go through a stage in late adolescence or early adulthood where they ask this question of themselves. They are moving towards independence from their families and into a whole new world where they will be required to face many decisions regarding who they are and what type of life they want.
But especially for people who are raised in a cult this question never really gets addressed because the group only allows for a broader response to the question. I am (a member of this group). It does not address the issue of who am I as an individual. The group only asserts that there is a social identity as a member of the group. Therefore true independence can never be achieved.
Catherine De Boer has been doing some research on this question with a focus on people who leave cults. Leaving any social group, whether it is the family, a club, a sports team or a school can be a challenge because we all gain a certain identity from belonging to the group. If the experience was good we will be proud to say we belonged there. If the experience wasn’t positive we probably won’t be telling too many people we were part of it. But generally we can be part of a family, participate in a sports club, go to college and still develop a sense of who we are as an individual. Rarely do any one of these demand that you surrender who you are as a person.
Cults are different. They do demand that you give up your personal identity. Other interests are forbidden. The only group you belong to is the cult even to the point of giving up family members if they are not part of the group and in some groups they even separate family members who are also members of the group. The denial of individual identities and in some cases familial links has one purpose – to control the individual. If you can limit what they enjoy, associations with disapproved people or other groups then you have a stronger hold on them.
So what happens when a person leaves or “disengages” from a cult?
Generally when we leave one group we find another that meets our needs better. At one point we may have gotten a lot out of playing hockey or chess. But times change and we may find our interests change. So we leave the one group to look for another or something different. But this assumes that in the course of our development we have learned who we are and it is that knowing that moves us in other directions searching for other ways our needs can be met.
Disengagement from a cult however is different. The person may not know what they like, what their interests or even what talents or skills they have. They haven’t had social interactions with enough interests or activities to know what they want, what their interests are, their talents. They have to start exploring these things at the same time that they are dealing with leaving the group, all their friends, sometimes their families or their work. They may have to deal with a traumatic and forced disengagement from the group. These things can make adjustment into living in the real world extremely difficult.
I sit and think about how I felt when I was forcefully disengaged from the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I felt lost. And the first thing I did was jump head first into college. That kept me busy for several years. But I wasn’t working on who I was as a person. Granted I was a sponge and absorbed so many new thoughts and ideas. It was fabulous. Eventually though I had to sit back and think about that question: Who am I?
A person can experiment with groups, or interests, take courses, read books and just talk to people. But ultimately you still have to wade through all of it and decide what is right for you. And that is where the “still small voice” comes in. We need to sit quietly and sort through it all, the good, the bad, and what falls in between to find that voice inside that says: “This is who I am.” And then you find the courage to stand by your beliefs simply because they are your beliefs and say something about who you are as an individual apart from any group.
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How do deaf people think?
by Iamallcool insome of you know that i am deaf.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/07/how-deaf-people-think/.
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Lady Lee
Wow I have never been ina group of people who are deaf and it was quiet. Most often they are smacking their hands together as they sign (if they are emotional) about something. Those who were taught the oral method of communication or had any trainign in lip reading make all kinds of sounds - not words just sounds. They are alos stomping feet to get someone's attention.
Not far from where I live now there is a group of people who are deaf that get together on Tuesday to socialize and play cards. Those who are sitting playing cards are pretty quiet but there is always someone roaming around who not quiet. And most people who are considered deaf may not be totaly deaf so there are many who do try to verbalize their words.
But quiet? That would have been very strange to be in.
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How do deaf people think?
by Iamallcool insome of you know that i am deaf.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/07/how-deaf-people-think/.
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Lady Lee
Scott I agree the movie To a Lesser God (have the movie and saw the play) opens a door on the lives of people who are deaf. Attitudes need to change. And interestingly I think shows like Sesame Street that introduced characters with disabilities into the regular show went a long way towards opening some of those sealed tight doors.
The truth is that most people don't want to think about people with disabilities as sexual beings. Unless they can be taken advantage of. And the greater the disability the less they want to think about it. Sadly many people with disabilities believe no one would ever think of them as a sexual being so they often put themselves off the market before even trying.
I have to agree with iamallcool/s assessment of Marlee Matlin though. And here is why. I have met a few well educated people who are deaf. They have succeeded when most of the people around them have not, by their definition. I found it appalling that a teacher who was deaf and working in the school believed that most of the kids they taught would never amount to anything. No point in giving them a good education. let's just push them through the system. What?!!! She had gone to Gallaudet College in the US and returned with this attitude of "I can do it but I am special and you aren't". To find this in a teacher was unbelievable.
People will live up to or down to the expectations of those around them. This woman had no business teaching these kids
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How do deaf people think?
by Iamallcool insome of you know that i am deaf.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/07/how-deaf-people-think/.
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Lady Lee
But it's more fun to think you have a local pet shop that sells dinosaurs
Hey no joke some people are trying to clone a dinosaur from the old bones
Scott
The current and politically prefered correct term is not disabled children but children with disabilities. The same is true with Person with a Disability. Although both are labels, they carry significant meaning to the person affected. Its not disabled part that make the whole person disabled. You may be a hand that is disabled still your other body parts are functionally intact.
I totally agree. I am a very independant person. I live in a large city where all buses are accessible for me to go on with the wheelchair. For me they have removed the disability. However on a recent trip to Montreal with my wheelchair they had no accessible buses off the island. People in wheelchairs were required to use adapted transit. And because I had not appled for their service six months ahead of time they denied me service. They created the dis-ability
They started to change the term from the term from the disability first to one where the person was first. That is as it should be. But clearly not all places want to see it that way